17 Dec

Satisfyer Men – Review

What seems like a long time ago, subsmissives reviewed the Satisfyer Pro 2, during which I wished that such awesome sex toy tech was available in a penis friendly format.  Much to my joy, I now get to test the Satisfyer Men.

The first thing you can’t help but notice is that there is no motor.

Wait, what?

Yep, sadly no motor, so the depressing news is no air pulse tech for the penis.  To be honest, I was so disappointed to realise this that the toy has sat unused for nearly 6 months while I got over the shock.  However, I am a serious sex toyist, so I shall appraise it for what it is.  A mid-price masturbation aid.

It’s similar in size to the best selling fleshlight, but is perhaps a little more contemporary in design. It’s more torpedo-shaped than torch-shaped, and features traditional solid man colours black and blue.  The top end has a pop-off cap, and the bottom has a screw cap for adjusting the suctionness of the toy, it’s all fairly standard masturbation toy stuff really.

What the Satisfyer Men does offer that is slightly different is two soft pads on either side of the body.  These soft pads, the blurb says can be used to increase pressure on the shaft of the penis when inside the toy, more on that in a moment.


First though, I really need to talk about the sleeve.  My first action was to remove it from the housing and give it a wash.  Big mistake.

The thing is, the sleeve is a crazy shape – in order to accommodate those side pads – and this makes it virtually impossible to get the sleeve back in the housing.  I spent a good half an hour trying to get the damned thing back in the housing, prodding, squeezing and flopping it about.

Eventually I figured a way to get it in, the old glass ketchup bottle trick.  By whacking the toy down hard on my palm, bottom (screw cap) end first.  This seemed to create a small suction effect which slowly sucked the sleeve back down to where it should be.  This seemed like so much of an oversight in the design of the Satisfyer Men that I checked the instructions to see if I’d missed something.  Nope, no mention of how to rehouse the sleeve.  Hmmmn.  So I asked Bondage God if he knew of a trick since I knew he’d tried the toy too.

Only turns out that there’s a little cradle inside that pops out for easy peasy insertion of the sleeve.


That sorted, it was time to use


Adding some lube, also satisfier men branded, I slipped my erection into the now safely housed sleeve.  My initial reaction, as usual, was oh yeah it’s the same as all the other masturbators.  Some people talk about how they liked this texture or that texture, but I’m not sure if my cock is just overly sensitive or completely desensitised, but I can never tell one texture from another.  It feels good, like any of the others do, but seriously, tried one tried them all for me.

The Satisfyer Men is fairly decent.  It is super easy to use, that bit of lube made penetrating the hole easy, and once my penis was inside, the Satisfyer Men was easy to hold, and thrust, the girth of the toy is slightly more than the fleshlight handle, probably to accommodate those suctions pads, but the slightly oval shape makes it actually slightly more comfortable.  Though, the two pads that do apply the suction are directly opposite each other, which means a less than natural grip to be able to pump them simultaneously.


The first time I used this toy, I got frustrated with those suction pads, and just wanked through to completion; I couldn’t get what they were doing when I pressed them, it was stressing me out and I just wanted to cum damnit.  So I did.  This means I had to revisit, life is hard sometimes.

Second time round, I was able to relax a bit more.  I found a grip that was comfortable where my fingers and thumb rested on opposing suction pad things.  This means the pattern on the toy isn’t parallel with the horizon or anything, a minor gripe…!


I thrusted the Satisfyer Men onto my cock, depressing the pads every 2nd or 3rd thrust, until I could feel that the sleeve was a little suckier, or was it tighter?  I’m not entirely sure to be frank, but it definitely adds sensation – a nice one at that.  It’s like a little extra pressure on the glans as the toy moves around it.  It’s not a massive difference, but a difference none-the-less.

It didn’t take long before the Satisfyer Men extracted my cum, in an orgasm that was actually rather satisfying.  Now, as I’ve attested many times, my penis really isn’t clever enough to tell the difference between one type of masturbator and another, but I can tell you about the end results.  In the end, I kinda like this one, I like the fact that it doesn’t look as bulky and as blunt as a fleshlight, I like the added buttons for suction/tightness, and although I struggled to get the sleeve in at first, I do think it’s relatively straightforward to use.  It’s had a fair few uses now, I don’t think it’s quite my go to masturbator, but it’s certainly decent.


Affiliate links to buy your satisfier men in the UK here. And in the US here.

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