26 Apr

Sqweel XT

Sqweel, M and myself have a long and complex history, which can basically be summed up into Sqweel 2 = meh and Sqweel go = meh, so interesting it was that I was chosen to review the male version of the toy, the Sqweel XT.

Quite what XT means is anyone’s guess, and my best guess is it’s the advertising department going ooooh we need a name that sounds mannish, like GTI, but y’know, sextoyier!

And so the XT, along with its Turbo TonguesTM came to be.

sqweel on pizza box

I’ve begun to notice a trend in men’s toys whereby the packaging could easily be mistaken for a piece of tech or machinery, whereby the toy itself is hidden from view, but the packaging for the Sqweel XT breaks this trend – a light coloured box with a large clear window to see your new XT through.


sqweel and tongues

The device itself is much like miniature dyson bladeless fan; contemporary minimalist styling.  It’s made from a nice feeling silicone, with two easy to find buttons and a charging port in the bottom.



You get a charging cable and 2 sets of tongues – a softer and a firmer set, the way these attach to the toy is a little bit magic; they just kinda sit inside the ring and stay there; I have no idea of the technology behind it, but it really works.

sqweel tongues

So, after allowing to charge and giving it a thorough clean, I decided to put the XT through its paces.  Using some of my favourite lube (not marmite!) on both my penis and the toy, I switched on, to discover, ummm, well not a lot to be frank.  The first setting is just a little bit of a whine, the next setting is a louder whine, and the third setting is louder still; clearly the power of the Turbo Tongues is not in the constant rotating settings, which I’ve named after 3 of the 7 dwarves; wheezy, whiney and disappointingy.    The thing is, it’s just no good; even on highest the tongues rotate slowly, which does stimulate the glans, but it’s as if the girth of my penis was just too much for the motor, as its strained to move the tongues against my cock.  So whilst the gentle tickle turned into mild annoyance, the lube dried up as did my willingness.

Examining the toy away from the penis, the whine is still present, clearly not my girth causing it problems, much to my ego’s disappointment.  Still, I’m a toy tester dammit, I will get some good out of this toy…

sqweel wheel

So I tried some more, this time using the patterns, or rathersqweel grips just aimlessly pressing the buttons to scroll through the functions.  I must say the toy is much better using the patterns, you can build up a degree of sensation before it all changes, and the toy does
seem to have more vivacity in this mode.  The silicone which covers the toy has added grip nodules all over, enabling you to try many different grips, angles and holds.  But still, nothing doing; plenty of lube, and I found myself trying to orgasm.   And there we have it, this toy is just not enough for me, and if I’m honest I arouse easily, and don’t have a problem achieving orgasm.


Best part of a three quarters of an hour I tried to orgasm with this toy, all I ended up with as an exhausted patience and a frustrated penis.  So perhaps that is the point of this toy; it’s a little titillation to tease your lover with – cos it sure ain’t gonna make an orgasm!  Meh.


sqweel charger portThe Sqweel I was sent was part of the Lovehoney sextoy tester programme, free toys in exchange for honest reviews.

If you still want to buy this toy even after reading my review, you can purchase at Lovehoney


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Clef two-factor authentication