One of things I pride myself on, when reviewing toys here on subsmissives is my honesty. I also think I’m pretty fair. The art of a good review is after all, to tell you, the reader, what is good and bad about the toy – and if it as bad for me, is that because it’s a bad toy, or is that because, actually, it’s just not congruent with our likes.
It’s been a while since I wrote anything. Sticking with honesty here, the reason for that is because I pretty much hate every single living creature at the moment. Yes, I’m suffering some really shit mental health currently, and when that happens, the ability to be fair sometimes disappears too. It’s not helped by the fact that I’ve also been suffering poor physical health since end of June too.
But the list of owing reviews is a trouble on my mind, and I’ve just decided to sit at the laptop and speculatively begin writing, and see what happens.
Bu what do I write about to try and break the frostbite on my words?
Seeing as I’ve just read an email from Fun Toys, I decided to start with something they sent me a few months ago, and that I’m sure you’ve read a zillion words about already. It’s also not a toy I especially liked, so tapping into my negativity might be worthwhile.
The Fun Toys G-Pop was sent to me in June, maybe July, and as with all Fun Toys, it features the arty box that I’m probably usually too kind about, since for me a box is a box, I’m more interested in what’s inside, but I know for some people, that packaging is all part of the experience, so here you go, have some images of the box.
Inside the box is the G-Pop; if you look hard enough. What I did not realise when expressing my interest for this toy is just how small it is. Any perceived similarity of the name with sweets, candy or whatever is entirely justified. Now let me add in some fairness here – size is not an issue if what you want is something small and beginnerish. It could be an issue if your prostate, like mine, is beyond the reach of the G-Pop.
Ok, now I’ve got my initial disappointment out, maybe I can add some balance. The G-Pop is a lovely toy in many respects. It is a delight to hold – light, bijoux, tactiliously pleasing (yes I’m making words up but that’s why the English language is so bloody awesome). What I’m saying it is smooth and sleek. It’s really quite small dimensions also make it entirely suitable for someone who wants to try this type of thing for the first time.
Have I got hung up on the size? Have I over-compensated my negativity with balance?
This thing also vibrates. This means it needs power, and thankfully that power is of the rechargeable kind – cos I’m a snob and I hate batteries. The charging is via what is now de-rigueur for sex toys – magnetic contacts. Whoop whoop. These ones are pretty good, and the cable even has “FT” on it so you know which toys it goes with. Yay positivity – go me.
An important point to consider with toys designed for your butt is safety, and by that I mean the propensity of the toy to travel unwantedly inwards until consumed by your hungry arse. Yes – it needs a base. The G-Pop doesn’t really have one. That doesn’t make it unsafe though, since it has a handy thumb loop – just make sure you use it and do not let go.
As regular readers will know, I’m not the power queen that M is, and I’m really struggling to decide whether the G-Pop is adequately powered or not. You see, the problem is that as it’s not long enough for me, I can’t tell if the vibrations are sufficient to get me off. Also, because if is proper slim, there isn’t enough decent pressure contact with my A-hole to enjoy the vibrations there either. So yeah, maybe it’s under powered, maybe.
The thing is that overall I’m just entirely underwhelmed by the G-Pop.
Is that a suitable end to a review? Maybe.
G-Pop was sent to me by Fun Toys, in exchange for the words you’ve just read.