14 Mar

a random delivery

A while ago, Carvaka approached me offering to send me a few bits in return for review.  Putting my life on the edge, I agreed to receive a mystery package.  It arrived super pronto, and inside were:

2 inch vibrating penis extender

3 inch vibrating penis extender

Melissa Jacobs Ass & Pussy Masturbator

A box of condoms (not reviewed below)

Honestly, not a bunch of stuff I’d have chosen myself, but here I am to give you some feedback on what are some highly affordable sex toys from Carvaka .

If I start with the Penis Extenders, priced at a little over a tenner, I can see the appeal to the gent who wants to please his partner, but feels like he needs a little help.

Firstly, you need to know that these are made of TPE, a rubbery plastic, which kinda feels a bit skin like – it’s really popular in cheaper sex toys.  TPE should be approached with caution, as it is a porous material, which means it is difficult to properly clean, and may harbour germs and stuff.  It’s kinda frowned upon by the sex toy elite, as it can get sticky and melty and yucky.

The extenders themselves are a simple affair, like an extra thick condom, you slide it on to your erect penis.  Lube helps, not only to get it on, but also to prevent too much friction inside the sleeve.  Both of these feature a hoop to hook round your balls, which is primarily to prevent slippage.  The box also claims it helps to delay ejaculation, but I shall don my sceptical frown at that particular message.

The penis extenders are hollow, with a lump of TPE at the tip end to make your cock longer – there is no denying they do that, and actually standing (or laying) there with a what is now a frankly mahusive cock is kinda cool.  The reality is though that these just didn’t work for us.


Maybe too much lube means that it just slipped about a bit, perhaps my erection wasn’t strong enough to hold it in place – whatever the reason these extenders just end in confusion and frustration and annoyance.  So we whip it off an carry on without.

Although, as a fist dildo it might work…


So, That’s the extenders for you.  How about the Masturbator?  Well, it’s a bit of an odd one if I’m honest with you.

You see, the webpage indicates that it is moulded on this porn star called Melissa Jacobs, but the box doesn’t give a name as far as I can tell.  Anyway, I’m not a great consumer of porn, so I had to google her and she ticks many of my boxes.  In all honesty though, it could be anyone’s bits!

But beyond that what we have is a lump of stuff with a couple of holes to stick our wangle in. They holes are extremely stretchy – even for a porn star this is some feat.  As you stick your fist in, you kinda think it’s gonna rip but it doesn’t, it just stretches.  So yeah it’ll be fine accommodating your penis.

I’m supposed to tell you now whether it’s any good.  Well, it does make me come.  But I’m generally the kind of chap where you rub my penis and stuff will happen.  It is unremarkable but it gets the job done.  If Melissa Jacobs is your absolute dream, then you will get a lot more from this than I do.

So, yeah at least this one does what it says on the tin.

You know, maybe penis extenders are for you but I am still sceptical. However I’ve certainly had a lot worse mastubatory experiences than with the Pussy & Ass.  So, a random delivery from Carvaka has certainly enlightened me.

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